Reflecting on the Week………
As I put this blog together from my week’s journal it is Saturday early morning and I’ve just had a complete meltdown as my boiler decided to stop and display an “error” code. The house is freezing cold, I’ve no hot water and I am, of course, on my own. I’m normally such a practical level-headed person. I know how to sort these types of things out – just take a breath Sally and look it up on you tube or google. BUT instead, no, I lost it! I cried and went into instant panic over a “F75” error message, whatever that is?? my head instantly leapt to; are plumbers even operating at the moment?; would they come out?; I’ve distanced for 2 weeks now and had no one in my house; how do I prioritise this – do I want anyone in my house with everything that’s going on?; How much would that even cost in today’s situation?; All things that three weeks ago simply didn’t exist……
Suffice to say half an hour later I’ve looked up “F75”, I’ve found the solution, pressed all sorts of buttons on the boiler and run taps and thankfully my heating and hot water are working again. But now I’m actually annoyed …..firstly with myself for not keeping calm, secondly because if that’s how I felt, in that moment, how on earth would one of my customers deal with something like that right now with everything else that they have going on in the world? This whole Covid situation is complete mayhem, everything is upside down and strange but in amongst it all actually “normal” stuff is still happening in a world that is far from normal….I’m sad at how absolutely cut off the vulnerable people we support must feel right now.
So, here you have the last week of my journal…well the bits that I can share!
Saturday 28th March
Woke up at stupid o’clock – NEED TO CATCH UP!!! in fact it was 4.30am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Got up and had a coffee and decided that I may as well crack on as lots to do! I am carrying a ball of constant anxiety in my gut at the moment and I’m getting frustrated over silly inconsequential things at the moment. A good example is that myself and the senior management team have, since mid-January, spent so much time detailing out the financial projections for the coming year and getting our budgets as accurate as possible – a hard job in any new business. This is now all completely out of the window and I know it shouldn’t matter as it’s not important in the grand scheme of things. The current “unprecedented” (seriously I am OVER that word) position means I have absolutely no idea how to model the budget for next year though? How can you plan for something you have no answers for in terms of what/when/how/where/who – the only thing that is clear is the why at the moment and even that can’t be understood.
I’ve plumped in the end for two financial scenarios to share with the Board and revised the budget and cash balance forecasts for them to look at. I have removed all fundraising income and revenue from services for a three-month period plus what I think expenditure might look like based on a mothballed Sage House. None of us have a clue really about what will happen with fundraising – money is almost meaningless in the current environment for people but sadly, in charity world it’s more critical than ever if we are to respond and support on the frontline.
I was then covering the phones for four hours, as we have opened up our help and advice lines on the weekend during this period – spoke to a few people including one of our regular special callers – feels lovely to hear his voice even if we cannot see him at the moment and I personally feel better for some human contact even if on the telephone! I prepared the rest of the Board papers for our emergency Board of Trustee meeting on Tuesday and circulated those around and then I started on writing my blog.
Finished up around 5pm, sat on my sofa and promptly fell asleep for two hours! I am exhausted and I feel a bit emptier – the anxiety ball slightly smaller perhaps and I deduce that I have probably found a way to offload and download my emotions, by blogging – hurrah! That’s helpful!
I remembered at 10 pm that the clocks were changing “Well that’s blooming fantastic!!” I really need an hour’s less sleep at the moment, but will I guess welcome British summertime and the lighter evenings during these darker times.
Sunday 29th March
Little sleep again – probably my own fault for having fallen asleep during the day but I’m also worrying about the size of my email inbox and knowing people have been in contact offering support and I’ve yet to respond to them – it plays heavily on my mind – I spend enough time telling others that we need to look after our supporters so that makes me feel a bit rubbish – hopefully people will understand with everything that’s going on.
So, had to be at Sage House by 10.30am for the BBC reporter and cameraman. Such lovely people both of them – interview had to be outside which I hadn’t necessarily considered when applying my hairspray – windy day – hair very interesting! They wanted to interview a customer and luckily Martha who was covering Sunday phones managed to get hold of our customers Paul and Linda who agreed to a meeting via zoom to talk about the impact of our activities having to stop. Well thank god Luke had come in. I would not have known where to start! It was odd in fact bizarre watching the reporter sitting on a rock, in the freezing cold outside of Sage House, balancing my laptop on her knee, Luke talking her through how to record on zoom as she interviewed customers whilst being filmed by a cameraman – goodness she managed to keep her composure well!
Took about 3 hours in the end to get all the information, shots and interviews together and they said it would be out that evening which was pleasing! Went home and dosed on sofa again for half an hour. I need to watch these afternoon naps don’t become a habit, although sleep is meant to heal so maybe I shouldn’t be too concerned.
Spoke with chair of trustees and updated him on what was happening re BBC and he emailed out to the rest of the trustees to let them know to look out at 6.50pm on South Today and then we waited……WE WERE THE FIRST ITEM!!! It was helpful that only today the Guardian and general media have started to pick up on the plight of charities during this time, so actually our press release had been really timely about our anonymous donor. Really pleased with the piece that they produced, wish it had come across stronger that we are still open and running services though. They make the point, but I worry it might get lost….in any case it’s a great representative piece of our current position. I’m pleased – I feel this is a positive in the gloom.
Less than 20 minutes later I am texting with Martha. She is really worried about one of our customers…..the highs and lows at the moment are phenomenal. The customer used all of our services at Sage House before including the day breaks service but is now in Residential Care. Due to lockdown his wife has the absolute torment of not being able to visit and I can’t even begin to imagine how she is feeling. Added to this the home are ringing her up and telling her that he has been involved in “incidences”. She has not seen him for two weeks and she can’t communicate with him by phone really because of his dementia, so what on earth is she supposed to do with that information?? His anxiety levels are likely through the roof – everyone’s are and he hasn’t seen her for an age – he doesn’t understand what is happening and the home ring her, to tell her about things she cannot affect in anyway – because that is their process??? It’s what they always do?? I am so cross, so annoyed…….of course what she is considering doing is driving over to the home and taking him out of it to try and look after the man she has been married to for over 50 years – a completely impossible task which is why she took such a difficult decision to place him into the home with the “professionals” in the first place. She is lost, confused and doesn’t know where to turn – she’s getting mixed messages and she can do absolutely nothing about it.
Martha and I discuss by text and email what can we do to help…..in the end I suggest I go to the home in the morning to speak to the home manager directly and then visit her – she only lives a mile away from me and she needs face to face emotional support as she is pretty much in crisis. We talk about how we can manage the incident reporting process during these times and Martha rings her on a Sunday evening to tell her what is going to happen and how we are going to help – she feels better already – like the charity has her back and that she isn’t alone. Martha has probably spent an hour and a half on the phone with her today – that’s what our charity does – what people need when they need it….
I go to bed and I am feeling sad again! Why do people not consider the impact of their actions? Why don’t they consider the emotional wake they leave behind? How did the home, that person who made the call, think any good was going to come from the phone calls that they were making to that poor lady today other than to tick their boxes and say they followed due process?
Monday 30th March
Awake early ……spent some time hatching plans this morning with Martha about how best we can support the person I’m going to see this morning and we agree that it is by being the conduit between the Home and them. The beauty of what our team do is that they properly know our customers – we call ourselves a sticky service because when someone comes through our door we nominate someone to stick with them throughout their journey, warts and all. This means when it comes to these difficult situations we don’t have to ask questions about history or incidentals – we have seen them through it all and it means we can respond appropriately and importantly very quickly, which is what people need when they hit crisis – not to be asked 5000 questions.
I head over to the nursing home, uninvited and ask to speak with someone……it’s interesting as they are sheepish, even somewhat apologetic but also, I believe, trying to do their best too. They are in a pickle of course – residents are all struggling with the lack of visitors, people are frustrated, lonely and anxious which means that all senses are heightened, and situations easily escalate. I feel for them as it must be so very hard and realistically, they are trying to do as much as they can in all of this too and they clearly care about their residents.
We social distance outside of the building. I explain, I have come to prove I am real for a start and then that I am very concerned about what I am hearing with the calls they are making given that no visits can take place – I ask them what they expect of someone who is lonely having placed their partner of 50 years into a home, who is having to isolate themselves…just what good do they think will come from them making a call saying hubby has been involved in an incident? What do they think that will do to a person emotionally and mentally??……
I explain the job for our charity is to support both carer and person living with dementia and that right now we are providing support to the carer at home. I explain that their actions at the moment are causing real distress but this can be sorted if we at Sage House handle any incident reporting relating to the person and then relay this to his wife so we can provide emotional support at the same time – they get it and they jump at the chance, even asking if we can work with some of their other resident’s carers which I explain we can.
Doing this will mean that not only will we get all information, logged with the detail needed accurately and timely, but it will ensure some accountability for our customer and we can help her work through her emotions and download them too.
Dropped by Sainsburys on my way through to pick up a few bits for our customer so she knows she matters, and importantly has visual reminders after I have gone, that we care and are here. Flowers, magazines, hot cross buns, biscuits, camomile tea, some scented candles, a journal (it’s helping me at the moment so worth a try!) and a daily scheduler – all we are hearing about at the moment is keeping structure in your day from central Government and the “experts”…..Yes well you try that when you are grieving the loss of your loved one to a nursing home after a 50 year marriage or are full time caring for someone living with dementia who doesn’t understand why they can’t go out when that’s all they want to do… okay, we can but try….calm down Sally you are getting in a rant now…….
So, customer is pleased to see me bless her. We both look at each other and know that we both need a hug, but we don’t – we just hold out our arms and pretend we are instead. She makes me tea and we chat, she cries, at various points and I listen and all I can offer is words. I support her by offering the knowledge that I have and more than anything I reassure her that she is doing so very good. That she’s doing the absolute best for her husband and that he is okay…she has to stay strong and try and keep in mind that this will pass. She says she feels better knowing we are helping her, supporting her – she feels stronger because the charity are here.
I go home and I feel low – lots of things I recognise from our customers current experience that I can relate to from personal experience with my lovely grandad, which I then feel guilty about as actually at least I could go to see him, this isn’t the same at all. Keep reminding myself of professional boundaries and trying to distance emotions – harder at the moment. I have a long chat with SMT via Teams and I offload to them….thank god for them and the support they are giving me at the moment.
The team have been really hard at it too…..Jane and Reece both busy today covering phone calls out to all of our Day Breaks customers – some they sit and chat to for half an hour or so, just so that the carer can get a bit of downtime whilst their loved one is occupied with the team on the telephone.
Jacquie and Aimee are also super busy with maintaining the call lists to other customers as well as taking calls from people previously unknown to us. It’s interesting that we seem to have had a few calls now from people living abroad worried about local family members and seeing if we can support. They’ve clearly found us online and we’ve been able to sign people up to the free befriending service and sort some more practical things like food deliveries. Andy our office manager has even been out picking up shopping for people now and delivering it personally as there is no help available near where he is – poor chap has only been with us for three weeks and I know that shopping was not in the job description I signed off for him when he started in post! According to the customer he is “an absolute superstar!!”
Had some lovely emails today, some from supporters saying they have seen us on the news and wishing us well – it’s such a nice feeling knowing people are thinking about the charity. I’m a bit sad as I’ve received some internal feedback, not criticism, saying it doesn’t show our response to the crisis…in honesty I’d normally brush this aside but I’m overly sensitive at the moment and when you are working so hard and running a bit on empty these small things hit.
Some team members have been checking in today and updating on how busy they are keeping – everyone is coming up with ideas about what can be done, how they can contribute and encouraging one another – we need to make sure all of the team keep connected at this time – in some ways it feels like this could actually bring people together as we are all sharing probably more so than ever as our individual worlds become smaller and more contained away from the outside world. I miss them all!
Isla is busy coordinating the responses and volunteer resources available for befriending – that might become a job in itself as the service and the volunteer base grows – it’s one to keep an eye on and remember if anyone starts mentioning furloughing which I’m recommending to board we don’t do currently. She’s also sorted the call log and briefing paper for volunteers, so they have some good solid guidance.
Befriending leaflet and extended Wayfinder service leaflets have been sent to print, 1000 of them to start with, need to think about best form of distribution for those – how to get them out to those who will need us most.
Sudden thought about the activity packs – we need to send coloured pencils with them for the mindful colouring some people won’t have any – I’ve ordered 150 packs – we are doing 300 packs so can split them out if necessary.
Giant Easter Egg raffle which was really popular last year is now sorted online – good work by the fundraising team to find a different way to still do it. Links going up on social to get people interested in buying a virtual ticket [at this point we have raised an amazing £145!!].
George the Sage House cartoon cat has been created now – will hopefully provide some light relief for both the team coming up with scenarios that George will get up to alone in Sage House over the next few weeks as well as those who follow him on Social Media – must remind Luke we need to have a hashtag for him so people can follow him easier….
I’ve agreed that we will stay open over the bank holiday and operate our normal hours – the team want to do it which just about sums them up – how lucky am I? People willing to give their time because they know how important this all is at the moment.
In the evening I find myself somewhat frustrated, we are three weeks in and I’ve still had no direction from statutory services although I’ve just had some email correspondence from those who I know in my previous life to say that CDC and Arun District are now “starting to develop their support/response teams”. I know that local authorities aren’t known for their agility which is why I left after 24 years of working in one, but given they are the ones who permanently talk about the importance of business continuity plans etc the turnaround on this is shocking. I feel bad for saying it as I know how helpless the officers themselves will be feeling, but more needs to happen faster and they should be leading so that people don’t start falling over themselves and duplicating response plans – note to self we fill gaps Sally….watch what others are doing – do not duplicate….
Early night I’m SOOOOOO tired!
Tuesday 31st March
OMG I slept so well! Proper proper good – 10 hours and I feel magic for it!! I literally feel like a Duracell bunny this morning and the day starts with an email from Martha as the Cathedral have been in touch and are running a youth programme to produce postcards which they’d like us to send out weekly to our vulnerable customers! Fantastic idea and of course we agree – lovely way to ensure that people know they haven’t been forgotten about!
First befriending contact today – a lady living alone following a recent diagnosis of dementia – no family living close by and of course now isolating….instantly we know we need to offer more than befriending. She needs more support than a daily/weekly phone call to talk about the world or her knitting, so she also gets referred on to the Wayfinders to sort out lots of things like benefits, how to stay safe in the current environment and practical support like getting her shopping in for her. I wonder if this will be how these referrals start? We know in wayfinding that you scratch the surface with a question and a whole raft of other issues come out, so we need to ensure that any volunteers know the signs to look out for and send to the Wayfinders for more intense support.
We had a lovely article in the Chichester Chamber of Commerce e-newsletter following the event that Dianne hosted at Sage only 3 weeks ago to the day – how on earth is that possible? It feels like a million years ago…..it feels blurry and hazy. I don’t want to keep using the word surreal but I can’t think of another to better describe.
George the cat is launched! and his first piece is around when he was gifted to Sage by George Ide solicitors – the cartoonist has done a fab job of redrawing the photo.
We are starting to populate the list of customers to receive one of the 300 activity packs when then arrive – Andy’s on it – he loves a spreadsheet!
We called an extraordinary Board of Trustee Meeting via conference call today. Sorry trustees if you read this but I wasn’t relishing the idea, largely as I have a constant feeling of unpreparedness these days. I am used to going into Board meetings with answers and solutions. My job is to help define the charity strategy with them, get it agreed and then translate it into actions but there’s absolutely no strategy for this. I don’t give them enough credit because actually and bless them, they do the best thing that they can for me right now. They essentially say, “do what needs to be done, we are a people organisation, and this is a crisis involving people”. They say they trust me and our brilliant team to respond and importantly they tell me that they are here to support me….I am relieved and more than anything I feel a little more in control knowing that we’ve got it right so far since this started.
Opened the post and we’ve received a cheque for £1k from a trust that we applied to which cheers me further and instils confidence that we can weather this – we need to for our customers and our most vulnerable in the community.
I send out my first blog to the team, in the hope it provides some insight as to how everything in the organisation is “hanging together” at the moment as well as the trustees and I’ve had some amazing feedback. If nothing more its showing the enormity of how we are responding to our customers and the current situation and someone even said they feel a little less alone knowing how I was feeling – I can’t ask for more than that to inspire me to carry on sharing it, even if it makes me look a little more vulnerable myself in my CEO role….none of that really matters right now.
So, I ask Dianne to help with formulating a list of the parish councils so that we can write to them asking if they’d be interested in an activity pack for their lonely, isolated older parishioners. I’ve increased the order to 300 but my customer list of those wanting backs is only about 100 so I want to make sure nothing goes to waste….As usual she’s turned it around super-fast and has written out to 10 of them by the close of the day to test the water. We agree to target our most local ones to begin with as we will use it as an avenue to push out the befriending leaflets – making sure we target those who will benefit most from the service. Will be interesting to see if we get any feedback at all during these weird times.
Following the postponement of the “Evening with Graeme Souness” fundraising event which should have happened last weekend, we’ve had to take the decision to cancel – who knows when we might be able to reschedule – so many fundraising events are now cancelled for the same reason. It’s not simply a case of just cancelling either – there’s hours of work for the poor team in refunding individuals their ticket money and coupled with the fact that a lot of their plans and work have been completely lost now. They are really busy finding other ways in which to bring in the money as different platforms and software solutions are popping up – trying to keep up with them is madness and trying to get a general sense of how fundraising for charities will play out in the next few months anywhere. As ever the team are onto it though and I know that there will be plans afoot before the week is out.
There is still the three of us going to Sage each day – we actually need it for the broadband and tech, as much as anything given the amount of films we are splicing (new word for me – probably used incorrectly!!) and social media and website content we are pushing out, to help make this time a little more bearable for customers to help fill their time and remind them that we are still here for them and this will pass.
I am worrying about the team feeling disparate – it’s not about the work or a control thing as I know they are all working harder than ever in these circumstances, but I’m worried as I want everyone to be okay and to know that they are contributing to everything that is happening. They are still making a difference but in a different way to before and I want them to appreciate that what we are ALL doing now is going to make us stronger as a team and charity at the end of this nightmare.
I feel tired, and its really hard living alone at this time. Working frontline when its part of your DNA is great in terms of personal reward – knowing you’ve made a difference, you’ve helped. The solitude however of home life, when the world feels very sad, means you want to be held and have a cuddle (n.b. I wrote in my journal not to include that bit but it feels relevant right now – will probably regret it..). I can only reflect that if I’m lonely even though I’m seeing people during the day, how on earth are older people who live alone feeling at this moment? I go to bed this playing on my mind.
Wednesday 1st April
Not a great night’s sleep but I don’t really know what I expect these days! The days are merging into one another and its hard to determine what day it is – I check in with others who tell me that they too are feeling the same so I’m not going to worry about it!
However, what I am worried about is that everything feels like it is starting to normalise a little – routine is starting to surface – regular daily online meetings with SMT where we are focussed and churn ideas and update each other on where we are all at. I don’t want this time to ever feel normal….this time will pass and whilst I appreciate nothing will be the same again I do not want this sad time to be the marker of future life but I fear that it will.
I had a “virtual” meeting with the CEO of Carers Support West Sussex – we talked through our concerns for how together we can support carers in the future who will have some very different needs to what we have ever dealt with before. We both identified some scenarios that are troubling us as this all continues….we discussed the emotional support that will be needed especially relating to those who pass in care homes (not necessarily to Covid) during this time where loved ones haven’t been able to be present or visit over recent weeks and in honesty I feel a little defeated. I know that there is nothing that can be done to ever make it right but also, I know we, as the “professionals” need to find a way to respond and help those who will be so very vulnerable. We agree to pull together a small task and finish group in two weeks and work together going forwards to make sure we can support the people who will be affected by this disgusting atrocity – god only knows how we will at the moment but we will find a way.
I reached out to some other local charities today to let them know we are here if they get overwhelmed in what they are doing – some instant responses.
We have signed off the final version of the activity packs for print run tomorrow – they have completely spiralled from a few pages to over 100 pages of things that will hopefully provide some rays of sunshine to our customers and carers – also some useful tips on how to keep busy.
Langmeads Farm contacted us today – they want to offer even more support and are running a sweepstake where the proceeds will come to us – they’ve based it around guess the date that they will re-open!
Befriending service processes from end to end now sorted – well done team!! I just need to define the qualitative assessment and measures, so we can measure the impact we have ……but that’s easy enough sorted and my bread and butter after all.
Isla “attended” the webinar I was invited to today all about Cybercrime – my goodness it’s hard to believe that even in these times people are using it as an opportunity to scam and take advantage as more people are working from home and the online traffic has increased so much. Another policy and piece of work which we need to do to safeguard the charity and our systems which we could really do without!
We all pretty much finished earlier today – we agreed we need time to do normal things! I was home by 4 o’clock still answering emails and calls etc but at least I managed to do a load of washing, hang it up and dust my house – that definitely made me feel better! One reflection with regard to emails – those sent prior to lockdown can pretty much all be deleted from my inbox – there is little within them of any consequence in what the world has now become – it’s like the whole world has completely reset which I really do not know how to feel about.
Tonight, following a telephone call, I’m worried again about a few of our customers, especially those with Alzheimer’s who like to go walkabout (we don’t use the phrase wandering – there is purpose when people head out). Those with carer’s are struggling to keep them inside and tensions are rising and we’ve some who live alone who we are ringing frequently during the day to talk to them and ‘remind’ them they need to stay inside. The fact that we are in lockdown is incomprehensible to these lovely people and the whole situation is made so much worse by the continual news reporting and as carers stress increases during these times. To be honest, even the action we are taking to help ensure their physical safety by asking them to stay in is actually causing stress and fearfulness. This then leads to the brain naturally wanting to take flight and then the whole cycle repeats. The boredom will increase over the weeks which will only seek to make the need to walk and get out even stronger – what can we do? Perhaps I can see if I can find some greenspace that we can use for our customers, but how can we do that safely? I will park it for this evening – another one for the SMT list of things to consider.
Thursday 2nd April
Slept again!! This is helping. I am also getting daily exercise as the team and I socially distance and trundle around Tangmere airfield – seemingly we look rather humorous and one woman even asked if she could take a photo so I did too!
Opened the post to another anonymous CAF cheque for £250….wow! I’m bowled over – thank you whoever you are.
Lots of discussions today with Health about how the charity can support them over the coming weeks. It includes the use of Sage House and I can’t go into detail on the blog at this stage but it’s potentially something very tangible that we can do which directly will impact the local community in a positive way during this whole nightmare. It’s probably taken up about 30-40% of my day in discussions with SMT about how it can work in practice, the logistics and then on the phone to different health teams. I also Whatsapp the services committee – another new bit of technology in use to communicate with trustees. Sorry I can’t give you more on this at the moment, but I promise to update people as soon as I can.
The other big news from today is the incredible response that Dianne has had from the Parish Councils over the activity packs…..between them (so far) they want over 700! WHAT? So, I’ve had to go crawling to my sis who was generously providing them including the artwork. We’ve gone from me pushing my luck with a short 20 page activity pack for 50 customers which increased to 300 copies at the beginning of the week to now, wait for it, 1000 packs that are 115 pages long plus 300 other smaller activity books which are slightly more complex….and a whole bunch of leaflets and inserts for colouring pencils into the bargain…..
Some more “normal” type activities for me today too – I don’t like using that word at the moment but essentially it is true. I’m sorting agendas for committee meetings, talking to my chairman lots about structures and fundraising and things that generally form a place in my “normal” everyday work…feels like everyone is almost getting into a groove across the organisation to a degree and I feel a little more in control as the days go on. I can only wish that the same could be said for our customers which of course it can’t so then I feel guilty and cross all over again.
Covid = Complete helter-skelter of mixed emotions none of which are positive…My personal mindset however is strong – we can help and we will. This will pass.
Friday 3rd April
Packs have arrived!!! They are fantastic and I’m so, so pleased. Luke has made a great video of them getting made up which will go out on Social Media next week. He’s seriously generated so much content in the last week it’s pretty remarkable – posts galore reminding people that DS is here to help and support throughout.
Services committee this morning – the first committee by zoom went ok – nice to see all the faces rather than just on the telephone and interesting watching people use video conferencing for the first time – not sure all will take to it and I keep forgetting to turn on my microphone which means repeating myself time and time again! Another skill to master!
Dianne’s brother Robbie decided he was going to shave off his beard and get sponsored to do it for us – it is a serious beard and I think he’s hoping by the end of lockdown it will have regrown. People clearly didn’t like the beard or they really like Robbie as he set out to raise £100 but so far he’s up to £901!! He facebook lived himself shaving it off – how amazing are some people??
We ordered pizza into the office for lunch and then we had another Friday Musical Matinee with Matt and Martha. I haven’t laughed so much for such a long time. The team dialled in as backing vocalists – it’s so lovely seeing people’s faces……Reece and I did a fantastic routine to an Elvis number over Microsoft Teams and Isla had to get up as she was laughing so much. We had seven people dial in on zoom and we facebook live’d the whole thing – it’s had 345 views as I write this with so many comments and likes throughout.
It was an okay day today – at times I laughed and hard. A great way to end the week. I feel my mood shifting somewhat – my journal is more positive as the days go on…..is that okay is the only question I ask?